Now don't be bitchy...

So I'm back in the cottage and going to bed. As I enter the bedroom I notice that, okay, it is my bedroom but not at all like what it looks like in real life. (For starters there was actually furniture!!)
There was also a beautiful, colourful patchwork bedspread that would have been a lot more fascinating if someone rather large wasn't sleeping under it!
It turned out to be ...MY EX!

Now this wasn't cool. She was supposed to be in Durban with her bit of fluff, what the heck was she doing here? And in my bed!! Oh hell no you don't!
So I yank the cover off and find myself looking at a woman who is so grossly pregnant that I'm a more then a bit horrified.

She looks at my face and gets that classic "Oh good grief" look on her face.
She then says, "What have you never seen a pregnant woman before?"
To which I lovingly answered, "A woman yes, a pregnant beached whale no...."

Now she's looking very annoyed so I know for sure it's definitely her and not a marine mammal.
"My sweetheart got me pregnant", she says, in a way that says pretty much, Duh, how could you not know?
I'm not sure how to broach the whole, "But she's another woman that couldn't happen without some kind of sudden hermaphroditic revelation!"

Again I get The Look!
"We did it at Rage."
"Rage? The computer thingy?!?" excuse my surprise here!
"YES!! Rage has joined with Pride to make gay friendly machines that you can use to get pregnant! How can you not know this?"
Apparently quiet easily...

Before I can say more though she starts talking again.
"Listen I want a place to have my kids, so you have to move out of the cottage."
Deja vu feeling here. Not the whole part where Ursh is going to have her litter but the kicking out part.
"Um, if you have your puppies here then where do I go?" I ask.

THE LOOK

"That's not my concern any more."
"didnt I already move out?" I ask, reality obviously leaking into the dream.
"I don't know!" she says, trying, bug like, to turn over with that huge belly. "Just do so that I can have my kids in peace!"

[Sadly I woke up here before finding out what exact technology made this lovely scene, or where the other mother was or even if she would at least get out of the bed before she exploded! How annoying...]

Bathroom break - Monday 06 December 2010

At least once a week, sometimes as many as four times, I have what I call, the toilet dream.

Now for those who are worried this dream is going to take a turn for the unsavoury, nope, don't worry your pretty little head about it.
This is a Jovvi dream and:-
1. Most of my dreams are just odd and
2. Those that are a bit more racy are kept to myself and only whispered in the ears of a select few. (aka anyone who asks because I can't keep my mouth shut)

Now the toilet dream is usually a dream that has me in a large building looking for the bathroom. Not because I need a number 1 or 2 or want to rifle through the medicine cabinet, fun though that may be. I just want to know where the bathroom is.

When I find it my character (Jovvi's seldom dream of themselves - I blame TV), tends to spend most of the rest of the dream just touching the porcelain. (No plastic bathroom wear in my dreams thank you!)

She tends touch the sinks and sides of the loo (Always immaculately clean) and then go into small raptures feeling up the bath or lying in it sans water, feeling the sides and using bare feet to play with the taps.

Now I grant this may be some semi-erotic dream or something but I never understand why I have it. In real life I do like a good bath or loo as much as the next person but I seldom (cant say never), get the urge to stroke it.

Funny enough though it is one of my favorite dreams and I usually wake up feeling very smiley and good afterwards.
Nightmares occur when I can't find the bathroom and end up wondering in corridor after corridor of rooms with nothing much soapy in them. I get very worked up about it!

Whatever do you think it means?

Shark Attack! - Thurs 2 Dec 2010

So the polar icecaps have started melting. They o it slowly but surely and, as you can imagine, it left rather a mess for the land dwellers, who weren’t keen on getting their feet wet. The water keeps rising and the land keeps shrinking. There’s a good chance that by the time the icecaps are done, there will be no land left. Real Estate takes a real blow. It’s like Kevin Costner’s 'water world' movie only with no fish people in it.

There is a shark though. One big mother shark that had taken over the oceans as its own and is systematically chomping all the human beings. Not too sure where the shark originated from but we can assume it was either already in the seas, a genetic mutation or maybe it was bitten by a radioactive guppy, it happens more then you think.

It was pretty grizzly really. The shark also spawned many baby sharks that it would use to eat people and then, in turn, would eat its own offspring. Wasn’t the sort of creature that you invited to family reunions.

Throughout the dream I was various people. Once a marine, with his large gun rat-a-tatting bullets at the sharks and eventually being pulled down from behind. I was civilians running scared, some being torn to shreds, others making it to dry land but watching in horror as, hour by hour, the land was being slowly sucked into the water.

Finally I was a reporter who’s chased through an abandoned, dilapidated and flooded house by the big shark, she gets far, the shark missing her legs by inches, stopped by a splintered, submerged table. She turns to run in the other direction and gets impaled by a large chunk of splintered wood as one of the shark’s clone-lings smashes bodily into her. Very icky.

As you might have guess this was not a happy ending dream. My characters kept panicking, overwhelmed by such complete and utter fear and then dying with a feeling almost like there was, in the end, no other choice.

Anyone want to guess why it was I woke up at 2am?

[I think I get dreams like this from watching thrilling movies with no one to hide behind when the tension gets too much! Soaks right into my brain! Lately I’ve been watching Battlestar Galactica and I have to admit it’s inspiring some awesome, but spooky, dreams! Maybe tomorrows will be rainbows and ponies? Maybe… ]